#167. Frozen Water and You
Hi everyone,
I got home from California last night after a week of bouncing around the state for (a lot of) fun and (a little) profit.
On our way out of the desert towards the more urbanized also-desert, Maris and I listened to a bunch of Grateful Dead songs which we had never done before. My dad is a huge fan of the group, and the music was a big part of the soundtrack to my childhood (and their SiriusXM station is a big part of the soundtrack ito my adulthood when I visit my folks). In the days following Bob Weir's death, it felt right to rip through an hour of his band's work while we buzzed across I-10. As a concession to Maris’s taste, and to the likely horror of bigger fans than I, we listened to album versions of the songs rather than expansive live jams.
LA was great. I got accustomed to the sunshine immediately and am lightly devastated to return to a Brooklyn in a post-idyllic period of recent snow that has since become slush. But no need to dwell on that! Winter happens. I know where I live. I'll deal with it!
Last Tuesday I recorded an episode of Comics Unleashed for CBS which was fun and something I’ll write a little more about closer to the air date, once I know when that is. Later that night, I got to see Maris give a reading at the Silverlake Reading Club. When we arrived, the club members were nearing the end of their two hour silent reading session. They made an attentive and engaged audience and I loved seeing Maris amidst a group that I think can credibly be called “her people.” The energy in the room was so studious and everyone was so thoughtful with the questions they asked.
I recorded a few episodes of The Nightly in person with Jacquis and KP, and our producer Kimmie brought a delicious birthday cake (my birthday was last Thursday) featuring a nickname I had given myself over email.
Later in the week, bunch I convinced a bunch of friends to congregate in celebration, and I had a lot of fun and heard a lot of good gossip. There were also a whole ton of friends I didn’t get to see (this is what happens when you are an extrovert who has been extroverting across the country for four+ decades), but I’ll be back for a couple of weeks in the spring for comedy and union stuff, so hopefully I’ll see even more buddies then.
On Friday morning, Maris and I parted ways for the weekend. She came home to Maggie the Pug (thank you Erin for taking such good care of her in our absence)!!! And I went on to SF Sketchfest in (you guessed it) San Francisco!
The festival was both physically exhausting and creatively replenishing as usual!!! Janet and her team graciously brought me and Alison Leiby back to do a Sup, Bro? show at Cobb’s and then stacked us up a bunch of other performance opportunities too. I did five shows in two nights plus one DERANGED hour of stone cold sober karaoke with Alison and our friend Paul Sabourin (who co-runs the Fake TED Talks shows I did on Friday night).
I saw so many more friends and met a bunch of new ones! Every single show I was a part of had a great lineup and a great crowd. One of the very nice audience members brought me a bunch of Larry Bird trading cards, which I appreciated very much!!!
I’m home right now but tonight I’m hosting the Taskmaster Live show in Philadelphia for Greg Davies and Little Alex Horne. I’ll be with them in DC on Wednesday and NYC on Thursday and Friday too. Starting Thursday I’m home for two weeks which is the longest I’ve been home in a row since…November? It’s been a LOT of fun to travel and do so many different kinds of shows, but I’m immensely psyched to have a straight fortnight in my own bed.
I’m sad to miss tonight’s Frankenstein’s Baby show but if you’re in New York you should go anyway because it’ll be great!
Somehow, after promising this nearly every week, the last two newsletters actually have been briefer than usual. I should always write big chunks of this text on my phone on an airplane. It keeps me from getting overly rambly.
PEP TALK FOR FROZEN WATER
Last week I saw this video of an ICE agent slipping on a puddle of ice, and I probably looped it half a dozen times, watching an aggressive fascist eat shit on the frozen sidewalk. It has also been (Desus and Mero voice) alleged that anti-ICE protestors have been dumping water on the ground outside ICE's headquarters in Minneapolis, creating treacherous conditions for agents entering and exiting the building. And while I don't know that legally I can encourage this behavior, I think I'm on firmer ground (pun unimpressive, but intended) saying it is funny that that has (allegedly, once again) happened.
While many government employees have today off from work in memory of the anti-racist work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., it's logically consistent (and morally repellent) that ICE is expected to continue its onslaught of ethnic cleansing instead of pausing to honor one of the great architects of the Civil Rights Movement. These fuckers are too racist to enjoy a day off.
Coverage of this invasion has been inescapable, which is good. We should know about the horrors until we are able to stop them. Over the weekend, I read a story about how a group of ICE agents ate at a Mexican restaurant in a small Minnesota town and then detained several of the establishment's employees. There is no more illustrative microcosm of the fact that conservatives want to enjoy the cultural benefits of a diverse population while also wanting to commit violence against that population. These goons just happened to close that loop quicker than most.
It's not all tales of escalating terror. There are numerous stories about the opposition to this campaign of racist violence as well. On social media, I've been seeing photos of signs from Minneapolis businesses assuring customers that they are open, but the doors are locked to prevent raids. One post detailed how mutual aid groups are helping immigrant families do laundry so they don't have to put themselves at risk by leaving the house to visit laundromats in person. Friends of mine are taking shifts as observers at local schools to make sure kids and teachers and staff aren't kidnapped.
These stories remind me of the popular genre of local news item where (let's say) a classroom of children each donates a toe to a classmate who lost both feet in an accident and can't afford health insurance. It's become a reflexive internet tendency to point out that these instances of community care are NOT heartwarming because they are examples of gaps in the system that should not exist. What we have been conditioned to see as tender acts of sacrifice are, when you look from farther away, symptoms of the ravages of capitalism.
And while it's true that these anecdotes are ripple effects of a cruel system, I think it's also important to clock the fact that it is a beautiful and natural impulse to respond to hardship by trying to lighten a neighbor's burden. It's a reminder that people by and large don't want those around them to suffer while wealthy ghouls feed on their misery. Most people want their neighbors to (as Maris's work with Brooklyn's Mutual Aid Diabetes network reminds me) have the insulin they need, for example. Spotlighting this kind of community effort is a way to highlight the inadequacy of our healthcare system, but it's also proof that outside of a few people who materially benefit from these conditions, and then a larger outer circle pit of suckers who have been convinced to lovingly lick their boots clean, people don't want to cause each other to suffer.
Similarly, every report of a bystander putting themself in between immigration enforcement and a vulnerable neighbor is heartbreaking because it reminds us of the full weaponization of our country's federal government for the sake of recreational cruelty. But it is also fortifying to be shown that people don't want this shit. And we can help stop it from happening.
When you see a frozen puddle of water thwart an agent of fascism, even temporarily, it's an object lesson that shows us evil is real but it is not insurmountable. And if a patch of lowercase-i ice can stand up to a soulless merchant of racism, then maybe it's not so daunting for the rest of us to push back against the vicious state violence that's happening across the country. I'm not saying you should physically trip ICE agents when you see them, but I am saying that there's something to be gleaned from watching one fall. We can work together towards making that happen more broadly, at least in a metaphorical sense.
PEP TALK FOR A READER (FROM SOME READERS)
I asked my Bluesky followers if anyone needed a pep talk, and one reader did, and my other followers had a kind of surprising amount of relevant expertise so I'm m0stly going to let them handle this one.
I could use a pep talk. I’m trying to become a school bus driver at 56 and I’m struggling. The bus is big! The bus inspections are meticulous! I’m wondering if I’m making the right choice
- Carmen
Then Michael responded: Don't quit! Keep your eyes on the prize. I became a school bus driver in October 2022 when I was 56. I'm having the most fun I've ever had at any job my entire life. It's intimidating at first but you will get comfortable. Spending time with kids ages 5-18 keeps me young. I laugh every day.
And Carmen replied: That’s amazing and what I’m hoping my life will be like ❤️❤️ Thank you! Now I just gotta remember the exact order for the pre-trip inspection 😬 And also watching my off tracking.
But also Stephanie chimed in: I have a friend roughly my age (I'm in my early 50s) who just had her first real live shift as a bus driver in Minneapolis. In winter! I'm in awe. You can do this!
And Brigid added: I’m so proud of you! Bus rides are an invaluable part of the school day and drivers are part of the education team for kids. THANK YOU for stepping up to make a difference in your community!
(Carmen thanked Stephanie and Brigid too!)
I loved this interaction not just because it makes my job as a newsletter writer easier, but also because it is (once again) nice to see people forming community around each other to uplift one another. Who knew I was enmeshed in such a strong web of school bus drivers, offering support to each other, round and round?
PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
The Dropkick Murphys - "Citizen I.C.E."
The Dropkick Murphys are a band whose politics surprise people at times. It’s similar to (but not exactly the same as) how cops sometimes love Rage Against the Machine because the music is loud and mad. And then they listen to literally one lyric and are like wait a minute this is about US!!?!? In the defense of people misunderstanding T.D.M., their most famous song is about being a pirate and their second most famous song is about how it's good when the Red Sox win, so there's not always an explicit undergirding message of anti-authoritarianism.
I used to do a bit where every year on St. Patrick’s Day I would live-tweet a fake itinerary for the Dropkicks (until my friend Ken Reid who knows them in real life blew up my spot). My former boss Tim Carvell (one of the best and funniest living writers) enjoyed the dumbness of my joke and has forever associated me with the band since then. Last week Tim hipped me to the fact that they put out a new song about how much ICE sucks. And look I can say it in my twerpy little newsletter all I want but when a band with a wider reach across a broader swath of the political spectrum comes out against the president’s douche squad of violent dipshits, it might make more of a dent in the public opinion.
You've really gotta hand it to them: "Too scared to join the military/Too dumb to be a cop" really captures the agency's energy in a succinct way.
Thank you, Dropkick Murphys. I tip my scally cap to you. (I haven’t owned a scally cap since high school.)
UPCOMING SHOWS
I’ve got lots of fun live shows on the horizon for early 2026! More to be announced soon!
1/19: Taskmaster Live (Philadelphia)
1/21: Taskmaster Live (DC)
1/22-1/23: Taskmaster Live (NYC)
1/24: Schtick a Pole In It at DROM (NYC)
1/25: Late Night Trash Can at Littlefield (Brooklyn)
1/29: The Jewish Museum (NYC)
1/30: Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me Presents: Comedy Grab Bag at the Bell House (Brooklyn)
2/4: Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! Live Recording (Chicago)
2/7: Opening for The Grownup Noise at Deep Cuts (Medford, MA)
2/13: Love Letters Reading at The Monroe (NYC)
2/19: Gorge Night at Club Cumming (NYC)
2/26: Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! Live Recording (Bloomington, IN)
2/27: Comedians Earnestly Singing Musical Theater at Joe's Pub (Manhattan)
2/28: Fundraiser (Hyde Park, NY)
4/10-4/11: Commonwealth Comedy Club (Cincinnati-ish)
5/29-5/30: Blue Ridge Comedy Club (Bristol, TN)