By Josh Gondelman — 15 Dec 2025

#162. Malört and You

Bitter home Chicago.

Hey if you enjoy today's newsletter, please consider subscribing! Maybe you'd like to upgrade to a paid subscription to keep this publication up and running. Or maybe you would like to buy a ticket to one of my live shows (or even just watch my new comedy special for free on YouTube). Thanks!

Hi everyone,

For the second time in the last month, it’s Monday morning, and I’m on my way home from the Twin Cities. Well, there have been four Mondays in the past month, but I woke up in different places on the other two. One at home, one in Erie, PA.

Aimee Mann and Ted Leo’s Christmas Show wrapped up its run on the road last night in St. Paul with a performance at the beautiful Fitzgerald Theater. It was a lovely way to end this run of fifteen shows across eleven cities in seventeen days. I'm so glad to be (briefly) home this week, but it was so much fun to be around some of my favorite artists for two solid weeks! There was a lot of Billy Joel talk which made its way onstage when Jamie Edwards (brilliant piano player!) threw in the opening to "Angry Young Man" during a little improvised section of one song.

It was an excellent adventure (shout out to both Bill and a different Ted). I saw many friends as we traversed the northeast quadrant of the country. I got to eat bachos (bus nachos). I have taken several notes about bands that my musician friends like to learn more about them later. I only embarrassed myself one time (that I know of) not recognizing a quote from the old "Mikey likes it!" Life Cereal commercials. I got to hear lots of great Aimee and Ted road stories and do lots of bullshitting about comedy with PFT. The best part (as with last year) was hanging out backstage saying nice things about the person onstage. How "Save Me" is just one of the all time great songs, how versatile Ted's guitar playing is, how funny and unexpectedly poignant Paul's characters are. As every creative (and non-creative) industry is being pile-drivered into hell by venture (and other) capital, it's so inspiring and instructive to get to work with artists who are concerned with making great work and sharing it publicly and not the pressure to scale everything infinitely upward. And again, it was such a thrill to be asked to be a part of this!!!

Now that the shows have wrapped up, I can divulge a few more details about the performances including: The theme of this year's variety show was (loosely) Severance, with Paul and Aimee convincing Ted to get severed to better enjoy balancing the Christmas Show with his other commitments. As a running gag, Aimee, Paul and I would tell Ted assorted facts about his "backie" (backstage innie) that made him sound like a total douche. But (comedy twist!) we all were PSYCHED about them. For example, Ted's backie wore a wallet chain with no wallet attached because all of his money was tied up in crypto. (Side note: People were VERY mad at me on Threads for saying that the rapper Nas has become a little embarrassing for rapping about his cryptocurrency portfolio. I stand by it though!!!)

Every night, one of the things I'd mention onstage is that Ted's backie had another gig across town after the Christmas Show wrapped, and I'd try to come up with a location-specific nü-metal or rap-rock tribute band for him to be a part of. In Massachusetts, the group was a Godsmack cover band called Lordslap. In Chicago it was an acoustic Disturbed tribute band called Perturbed. The people of Royal Oak, Michigan were NOT happy with my joke about Ted performing with a Motown-themed ensemble called Bawitdoowop that exclusively performed the music of Kid Rock. I got them back on my side by telling them that just saying those words in front of them made my palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy (although I did not vomit on my sweater).

For Bunk Chat, the tour's internally published zine, I listed several rejected versions of these jokes, which I will publish here for your amusement. I hope this is not a violation of the sanctity of Bunk Chat, but I don't think Aimee reads this newsletter.

Rejected Backie Ted Side Projects...

Let the Bodies Hit the Fjord, his Norwegian language Drowning Pool cover band
Playing at The Slathering of the Juggalos, an Amway party that only sells clown makeup
Front man for Crashing Thumpin’, a noise-rock reimagining of Siamese Dream
Sloopknot, a yacht rock tribute to Slipknot, or vice versa
Korndogs presents, Freaks on Leashes. Pretty self explanatory, that one
Uncredited backup vocals for Mama Roach, an all female Papa Roach cover band
Playing harmonica for Reds Traveler, the communist tribute to Blues Traveler
Lead guitar for Rage With the Machine, the NYPD’s Rage Against the Machine cover band
Jim James and Johnny Knoxville are going to jump over him on a dirt bike as part of their collaborative project My Morning Jackass
Lead guitar for Tide Pen, the band that plays every Staind song backwards
Sitting in on bass with Neurodivergent City, an ensemble of TikTok therapists playing the hits (hit?) of Crazy Town.
Never Break the Wallet Chain, a nü-metal tribute to Fleetwood Mac.

VERY stupid jokes that are for fairly niche audiences, aka my favorite things!!!

In actual music news: Something clicked and I’m really into the Geese album that came out a few months ago, just like everyone else in Brooklyn. I especially love the gentle anguish of "Au Pays du Cocaine" but I can't say that on social media because of all the jokes that would be made at my expense. They're the rare rock group whose down-tempo stuff I like better than the faster songs.

When Maris wrote her favorite books of the year list, she added a sub-section for books by people whose phone numbers she has in order to disclose any possible knowing-a-guy bias. There is great pleasure in knowing a guy, but it does sometimes change your relationship to the art or craft of the aforementioned (gender neutral) guy.

But in that spirit, here are my favorite albums by people I know a little (ranging from good pals to internet acquaintances), with genuine enthusiasm:

Laura Stevenson - Late Great (Laura writes beautiful songs and has one of the best singing voices on the damn planet.)
PUP - Who Will Look After The Dogs (PUP fucking rules. I cannot hear or even really think about the lyric "I can't die yet 'cause who will look after the dogs" without tearing up.)
Open Mike Eagle - Neighborhood Gods Unlimited (Open Mike Eagle is SUCH a great emcee, and he sounds only like him, which is such a feat.)
Camp Trash - Two Hundred Thousand Dollars (Lotta great jangle on these tunes!)
Sadlands - Try To Have a Little Fun (This album rips. It's a real go kart ride. Love it.)
Lillian King - In Your Long Shadow (Wistful and gentle and tender! Lillian is great!)

Tonight I’m co-hosting a SOLD OUT Frankenstein’s Baby at Union Hall. But if you’d like to see me host there before the end of the year, Alison and I are doing another Sup, Bro? On 12/27 at 7:30pm featuring a bunch of our funny friends.

Then I’m off to the Pacific Northwest for a few shows to end the year! 12/28 I’ll be in Seattle at the Crocodile! I would love for you to come out if you’re nearby! It’s a bigger venue than I’ve headlined before in town, and I think it’ll be a great time! Then on the 30th and 31st I’ll be at Helium in Portland, which is one of my favorite clubs in the whole country!

PEP TALK FOR MALÖRT

bottle of jeppson's malort liqueur and a light pour in a cup — Malört? More like Malörtwhyhaveyouforsakenme?

Last Thursday night in Chicago I had my first and quite possibly last ever taste of Jeppson's Malört Liqueur. Malört is considered by some to be a Chicago delicacy, but there is nothing delicate about it. It's more like a Chicago pungency or even a hellicacy. It doesn't taste like a liquid a person is supposed to ingest. It tastes like something you'd use to dissolve or embalm a body. Either way, it's not fit for the living. It's a beverage best experienced posthumously.

Malört has its defenders (hello Ted and Steve). As a wintertime iced coffee drinker, I am familiar with the urge to drink something perverse. And it does feel powerful to imbibe a substance that tastes like liquid tires. Some people say there are notes of grapefruit in there, and I guess maybe I can see that if it was a grapefruit that had sat on a hot radiator for a month and then got run over by a car. One friend told me that it's the aftertaste that does them in, but I'm here to say that the beforetaste is no treat either.

It is beautiful to be an acquired taste, even when the number of acquisitions is barely higher than the number of people who will receive pet dodo birds for Christmas this year. Malört's enduring micro-popularity is a true testament to the adage that there's a lid for every pot. Except in this case the lid should remain firmly sealed in place and the contents of the pot should not be inflicted on the rest of us. Not all art or culture has to be for everyone. But Malört teaches us that something that seems like it is not for anyone can still find an audience. An audience whose taste buds are nature's sickest freaks. That's not nothing. It's worse than nothing. But it's something all the same.

PEP TALK FOR A READER

I did some little condensing and editing of this request. Nothing drastic. Plus I added the nickname myself.

Hi Josh,
I have always appreciated the occasional glimpses given of your Jewish heritage. You seem to hold the traditions of your ancestors with grateful, open hands—and it both inspires and makes me a tad envious. I grew up in a very closed-fist sort of tradition that left me with nothing to cling to spiritually or communally when I left years ago. There are many of us who feel this unmooring—especially during the holidays that used to be centered around a particular narrative and set of traditions.
Long before I followed you, I’ve been attracted to the traditions and argument-as-faith-and-practice posture of Judaism, so I went to my first Shabbat last week and loved it.
I don’t know what I’m asking for exactly, other than maybe a pep talk that I’m not the interloper/intruder/imposter I feel myself to be. That it’s okay to find/make new traditions. Thanks!
- Nice To Meet Jew

My kind of glib answer to your inquiry is: We (Jews) are glad to have ya! We don't put up the same numbers as other major world religions, and if our traditions move you, or our culture inspires you, the more the merrier! Mazel tov and l'chaim! Most groups of people resist cultural appropriation. We welcome it. Spread a schmear of cream cheese on your bagel and jump on in! It's good to have the company!

And while I stand by that lightly tongue-in-cheek answer to your question, I would like to offer a little more sincere response as well. In light of the horrific shooting at Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia on the first night of Hanukkah, your question has taken on a new weight for me (a weight you could not have intended when you sent it earlier last week, of course).

The violence, both physical and structural, in the world is such a crushing weight to live underneath even when you are not feeling the pressure as acutely as others. Participating in community and standing in solidarity with one another are the strongest ways I know to help each other stand up under that pressure with strength and dignity. Ahmed al Ahmed, a nearby civilian who brought down one of the gunmen in Bondi Beach, must have felt this when he rushed to stop the slaughter, sustaining serious injuries in the process. He is a Muslim immigrant to Australia who could not bear to see his neighbors eradicated. This is how we should want to be, constantly aware of the sacredness of each other.

To understand such an act of heroism is to realize that antisemitism and Islamophobia and all bigotries are a sickness, and the only cure is solidarity. We must offer each other mutual support against the onslaught of horror, the ghouls who seek to terrorize the other for their own gain. We cannot put a boot to the face of someone suffering in hopes that it aligns us safely with those who might visit similar cruelty upon our own heads. Everyone standing up against ICE to shield the members of their communities from wanton state violence sees this. Anyone who helps someone they love (or simply someone whose humanity they see) receive life-saving medical treatment, abortion access or gender affirming care, as oppressive laws choke off the availability of these procedures or medications, understands this.

What I'm driving at is that as long as you engage with a community within the parameters of its own culture, that is a gift to you and to them. You do not have to take a bullet for your neighbors to show that you care about them. You don't have to start circumcising babies to align yourself meaningfully with the people of a nearby synagogue or JCC. You don't even have to make an especially convincing "ch" sound. You just have to show up and listen and put into the institution as much respect and camaraderie as you hope to get out of it.

Happy Hanukkah, everyone. We can all be for each other. Perseverance and interconnectedness in the face of cruelty are the real miracles.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK:
The Steve Miller Band - "Abracadabra"

I don't know if this is a good song. My hunch is no. But I have had the Christmas Show parody version ("Never Unsever") stuck in my head for two straight weeks, so here it is. The video is hilariously literal in terms of the of magic, which is not un-fun!