By Josh Gondelman — 11 Aug 2025

#144. Immigration Lawyers and You

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Hi everyone,

My week was (as my friend New York Times-lauded author Rax King described it) "both topsy and turvy." I booked a little job for today and tomorrow, which will be good but required some schedule-shifting. I bought all the ingredients to bake a pie for my friend Jo Firestone's pie tasting event and then couldn't get it together to actually bake the pie in time to bring it there. On Saturday night, Maris lost her phone, so we retraced our steps trying to find it to no avail. We finally came home at which point she went to sleep, and I got a call from someone who had found the phone and could bring it to me. But, plot twist, I had taken a little THC gummy and found myself FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE to stay awake until the phone arrived (also, I had woken up at 4:30 on Saturday morning for my flight home from Maine, so I was DOUBLE SLEEPY). Did I make it without dozing off? No. Did I wake up from my couch nap in time to slap on some shoes, pay the good citizen a reward, and collect the phone? Yes. Husband of the Year (okay, I'll take Husband of the Night) Award nomination secured by the skin of my teeth.

On Friday, I was in Maine for the band Guster's yearly Portland-based music (and some comedy) extravaganza. I got into town in time to treat myself to a comically opulent lunch (lobster roll with jalapeño mayo with a side of fries and a Polar Grapefruit seltzer from High Roller, then a small cone of black raspberry ice cream – underrated flavor – from Beal's) which is what you would eat if you were in a Brewster's Millions situation where you only started with like fifty bucks and needed to get rid of it in an hour and end up with gout.

My hand holding a "small" waffle cone of black raspberry ice cream over a brick walkway. The cone is wrapped sensibly in a napkin. — Cream Rules Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M.)

The show itself was SO much fun. I got to perform at Portland's beautiful State Theater along with Guster (the entire band was SO nice) their musical guests (including Maggie Rose who has one of the most beautiful singing voices I've ever encountered) and a team of extremely funny and talented improvisers (Connor Ratliff, Greg Hess, Holly Laurent, and a fourth person whose name it was too loud for me to hear but I felt self-conscious asking again). When the band wasn't playing they sat on couches upstage and watched while totally visible to the audience. I got to watch a chunk of the show from the couches too!

Because of some little scheduling hiccups, I had to miss Guster's full headlining set as well as The Mountain Goats (after skipping their NYC show on the basis of "I'll see them in Maine next week"), but it was still such a wonderful trip. I've been a Guster fan for like...I don't know...24 years? People who have been down with That's Marvelous since 2024 know that I missed seeing them (and Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright) live the night I did my first open mic in Boston (my sister went to the show!) so I'm glad to have closed the loop on this in such a cool way. Plus the pictures from the show were very impressive to high school and college friends, which – as I always say – is the whole reason we do this (jkjkjk, but it is a reason?).

Back at home, Maris and I watched the Las Culturistas Culture Awards (now on Peacock, not an ad, just a fact), which I enjoyed so much. I thought Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers and the whole team did such an elegant job balancing extremely silly bits (an "In Absentia" slide show listing all the people who passed, not on to another plane of existence, but on the request to attend the award show, for example) with obvious affection and admiration for the nominees, winners, and presenters. Most of the bits really connected, and the show as a whole felt cohesive and entertaining, in a way that the long-established awards shows often struggle with (although I do think Conan and Nikki Glaser did great work respectively at the most recent Oscars and Golden Globes). Things can be goofy a lot of the time and still hit the right sincere notes.

Speaking of silly, Maris and I had planned to see the new Naked Gun movie last week, but we didn't make it! THIS week we will not be thwarted.

Now a couple of little things...

PHILADELPHIA: I'm headlining two shows at a little theater as part of the Philadelphia Comedy Festival on 8/23! I'm so psyched! I love Philly!

BROOKLYN: I'm co-hosting Frankenstein's Baby next Monday (8/18) at Union Hall! As always it's a super fun lineup, and you can see me and Leiby go completely off the rails basically from moment one of the show.

CONNECTICUT, NEW ORLEANS, MINNEAPOLIS: Scroll down for ticket info for upcoming shows! A BUNCH more will be announced soon ("soon") too!

WAIT??!?! MORE PODCASTS??? (YES! SORRY!)

The podcast grind (lol) doesn't stop! This week, I was on...

...Couple's Therapy hosted by the wonderful Naomi Ekperigin and Andy Beckerman. Maris and I were on together, which has been a lot of fun when we've gotten to do things like that! We are very good at talking together (imo) but less good at planning things to say to an audience together because I am always like "It'll be fiiiiiine" and Maris would like to actually prepare.

...Hey Riddle Riddle with Adal, Erin, and JPC. This podcast scratches so many creative itches (goofing around with funny friends, aggressively demonstrating competence at a task, a warm and friendly vibe), and was so delighted to re-join my brilliant improviser pals for this!

...Probably Science with Matt Kirshen and Andy Wood who are funny AND smart, talking about science news. I laughed a ton and learned slightly less than a ton, which is still a lot!

...and also Taskmaster The Podcast ran the second half of my super fun live event with Greg Davies and "Little" Alex Horne (both of whom are taller than me, hilarious, and extremely kind). Some fans of the podcast seem annoyed with me online, which is fine, because I did not realize I was hosting a podcast episode (lol). Shout out to Ed Gamble, the usual host, who is so funny and great!

PEP TALK FOR IMMIGRATION LAWYERS

A wooden gavel sitting on top of the minutes from court case from the 1860s. — I don't know...every other picture I could think to use for this was WAY TOO DEPRESSING.

I received a request for a pep talk for immigration lawyers in general and so I'm going to do a short one because it's less fun and more sincere. Sorry! You're welcome? I can't decide!

Every day lately the news is like: Genocide, crypto guys throwing dildos onto the court at a WNBA game, person falls in love with AI and plans crime spree with their new computer program lover, lake gets so hot that it's now more of a bouillabaisse than a body of water.

But the way the U.S. – and a host of other countries – have been demonizing and perpetrating violence against immigrants is one of the cruelest and most demoralizing ongoing events in the world. The United States government has devoted so many resources to ICE that it seems like the end goal of America is to keep kicking people out until the entire population consists of a dozen billionaires and three million guys wearing gaiters and Oakleys who have Punisher calf tattoos that they don't understand are ironic.

I have a close friend who is an immigration lawyer, and what they are up against is so daunting and so ruthless that it feels horrible every day. But taking on that task despite the odds is, in my view, heroism. Most people see what's being done is wrong. Many have protested against it and will continue to. Lots of people have donatee money or volunteered as immigration court observers to help keep immigrants and refugees safe. Even several of the podcasters who voted for Trump because he seemed like a cool guy (???) who gets it wet (necessary, because his penis is as old as much of our planet's dust) are dismayed by what they are seeing.

I've said this before (which is really just a paraphrasing of the old Jewish aphorism of every life being a universe), but if an injustice facing one person is a tragedy (it is!), then upholding justice for even one person is a true victory. The numbers are overwhelming, because cruelty scales up so quickly. There's such a thing as a mass shooting, but no such thing as a mass open heart surgery. But the work that immigration lawyers are performing is (in my opinion) some of the most important and appreciated humanitarian work that's happening. Is that partly because the United States federal government overall has given up on the idea of humanitarian work? Not no. But even if that weren't the case, saving one life, keeping one family together, is the kind of hard work that makes a real difference.

PEP TALK FOR A READER

This week's request required a little tinkering for the broader newsletter audience, but I like it a lot!

Will you give Pee-wee [a small and adorable dog] a pup talk because mom refuses to let him eat a rotten plum?
- Pee-wee's Mom

Pee-wee, my dude. We all know plums are irresistible. You spot a couple of those suckers in the ice box, that shit will have you writing poems. Much like William Carlos Williams, you too will be sorry if you eat that plum. Not because the fruit in question belonged to someone else, requiring you to ask for forgiveness. In this case, you will be sorry in more of a "rue the day" sense after causing an absolute typhoon in your digestive system by eating spoiled stone fruit.

It's also so hard to recognize when something you want so badly is going to be disappointing or even destructive to experience. And the fact that someone thinks they know better than you what's good for you is an extra dusting of ground-up toenails on top of a crap sundae.

Ultimately, a big part of life is balancing your own desires against the input you're getting from the people you love and trust. Sometimes we're blinded by our own ambitions, whether that's a professional drive that eclipses the needs of the people you care about, or a simple physical urge to devour a street plum (or a forgotten, bottom-of-the-refrigerator-fruit-drawer plum).

So often, what we want isn't what we need, but it's still a challenge not to lash out at the people who remind us of that fact. It's important that no matter how much we want to, we do not bite those people's fingers or poop on their floors. You have to trust that your loved ones have your best interest at heart, and you'll find another source of the satisfaction you seek, whether that's eating a fresher plum down the line or even scratching your ear with your back foot.

If you really trust the people around you, you will be okay in the long run even if your desires are frustrated for now. And maybe you'll look back on that plum from the future and even feel glad you didn't get what you wanted at the time.

PICK-ME-UP SONG OF THE WEEK: Henry Mancini - "Lujon"

I heard "Lujon" playing at JFK (the airport, not the guy) on Friday, and pretty quickly it occurred to me that the only context I have for this song is that it plays in The Big Lebowski while The Dude is at Jackie Treehorn's mansion. Other than the fact that I started to fear my day would end with being drugged by a pornographer, having a police officer throw a mug at my head, and hearing Eagles playing in a cab, it was pretty ideal airport music. The lush strings and gentle percussion made my trip seem opulent even though all I was doing was scrolling on my phone because I'd buried my book too deep in my backpack to dig it out at the terminal.

It's so funny to hear songs that you associate SO strongly with a particular experience out in the wild. "Lujon" wasn't even written for The Big Lebowski; it's just where I encountered it initially. And yet, the lilting plonks of the lujon itself whisk me immediately to Malibu, where I may not be welcome at all. (I have a similar experience hearing any song on the Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 soundtrack in the wild, except I am transported to a digital skate park.) Do any of you, readers, have any songs tied to such specific experiences that it's hard to peel the feelings apart from each other? Sound off about those sounds in the comments!

Either way, I was delighted to hear an old song friend in a new venue, and it brightened my day, and maybe it will do the same for you!