#139. Nappers and You
Hi everyone,
Sorry I'm a day behind schedule this week! You may or may not have noticed that this newsletter has arrived to you via Ghost rather than Substack! I'd gotten exhausted by the other platform's politics, so I plunked a list of everyone's emails into this new website, and it took a little bit to get all the back end kinks ironed out. I hope the change isn't too dizzying for you as readers. I'm still learning the ropes over here, so the formatting might be a little funky , but otherwise it shouldn't present too much hassle on your end.
There is one significant difference for me, though, which is that Ghost charges a little bit to send so many people emails! I didn't start this newsletter in hopes of turning a profit, but I would love to do it without losing money. So I'm offering an option for readers to send me some cash in exchange for the regular weekly edition of That's Marvelous. I have so far gone about two and a half years without missing a newsletter (never even a day late until today), and I work pretty (but not exhaustingly) hard on them. If you've got a few bucks to spare and would like to upgrade to some kind of paid option, you can do that! There won't be any real tangible benefits other than the knowledge that you are supporting an independent writing project that is trying to be funny and nice for people to read. If nobody gives me any money, I may not continue to write this publication indefinitely while in the red. But seriously, no pressure. Just a little passive aggression (the only kind of aggression I excel at). Change to a paid subscription with the button below. I may be able to set up a one-off donation option soon too, but so far that has not worked. (The aforementioned funkiness.)
I'm in Los Angeles this week for Maris's LA book launch (she's was conversation with the great Jamie Loftus tonight at Skylight Books, and so many wonderful friends came out!!!) and to do some more podcasts to promote my special. I'm very excited about all of it, and mildly jet-lagged. Maris and I have been crashing at like 9pm and waking up at 5am, which is not ideal for the purposes of being awake at 3pm, which is often an important part of the day, right in the middle of all sorts of things. More on that below.
Speaking of books, the day we got to California I read all of Jo Firestone's mystery Murder On Sex Island in a span of twelve hours. Jo is a genius, and the book is extremely funny and also very mysterious. At live events, Jo stresses that despite the novel being set on the titular Sex Island, there is little to no penetrative sex in the story. That's not a commentary on the many varied kinds of sexuality that exist; it's way more about how Jo is uncomfortable writing P in V (or V on P if you're reclaiming sex from a different perspective) stuff.
Also last week, I was on a zillion podcasts including:
- The Flop House to talk about Chris Pine's directorial debut Poolman, which I think should be called The Hot Lebowski.
- You Are Good, talking about the actual The Big Lebowski, which remains my favorite movie for the twenty-sixth consecutive year.
- The Bugle making jokes about the very bleak current events that are currently happening.
- Welcome To Talk Town doing completely deranged bits with Alison, Anthony, and Greg.
- The JTrain Podcast talking bad sneaker trends and other very fun things with Jared Freid.
I also did a really lovely and very Jewy interview with Evelyn Frick for Hey Alma, if you want to know some of my sincere thoughts and do NOT like the sound of my voice.
In additional promo news ("Please! More!" you shout) tickets for my show at the Borscht Belt Comedy Festival in the Catskills (7/26) and my return to Comedy Bar in Toronto (Danforth location, 8/1-8/2) are on sale now!!!
And, as is the new normal over here, if you have any inclination to watch my new special, I'd love if you gave it a shot and spread the word. People's posts about it have really been making my day! Here's the YouTube link once again!
Okay wow that's been a lot of business this week. On to the rest of things!
PEP TALK FOR NAPPERS
Heeeey, sleepyhead. Sorry to wake you up. I just wanted to say, real quick, that you're doing great. There's nothing wrong with catching a few Zs during the day, schedule permitting. I know it's ironic of me to wake you up to say that, but honestly I did not expect to find you out cold at 1:30pm, an hour at which most people who are not preschoolers are like...awake and accomplishing things.
But that's not me talking. That's society's anti-nap bias that I am working hard to reject. Life is exhausting. Who does it help to deny that fact? Sometimes you are up late and didn't get enough sleep the night before. Other times, eight hours of rest is not sufficient to overcome your recent activity or illness. And there are only so many safe and legal stimulants you can use to push through that kind of exhaustion. Coffee, anxiety, almost falling asleep behind the wheel and waking up abruptly to a full on geyser of adrenaline shooting out of every relevant gland. These things can only do so much. Naps fill the gaps. (Handy slogan if anyone ever needs a pro-nap mantra that rhymes.)
I have, in rare times of dire jet lag or hangover, taken a nap before noon. I'm not proud of it, but I will no longer be ashamed! What's so special about 11am that I can't sleep through it? A job? Sure, it's not ideal to doze straight through a work obligation. Or a social one for that matter. But sometimes you've got to prioritize the evening, or even the very late afternoon when we aren't really getting anything done, but nobody wants to talk about that. Why is night rest more dignified than day rest? To paraphrase playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda: "Sleep is sleep is sleep is sleep is sleep."
Some people even go as far as painting nappers as lazy. Excuse me? Is it lazy to be in touch with your body? Is it lazy to take some time and rest when rest is available so you'll be at your best later for work and play or even a second, more effective nap? Is it lazy to not be one of those freaks who claims they leave the gym with more energy than they started with after working out? No! What you call being lazy, I call being fully human! Nappers have broken the paradigm of days for work, nights for sleep. (Or, for some, nights for work, days for uninterrupted sleep which is different than a nap, I admit.)
The reason people really criticize a nap is jealousy. They want what you have. Time for extra slumber, and the commitment to carpe that diem and treat it like a nox (latin for night, according to Google's non-AI search results).
Now get back to sleep, buddy. You need it. Or you don't. But either way, you deserve it.
PEP TALK FOR A READER
I left this request mostly as-was. Grawlix the writer's own, nickname mine.
I need to provide mid-year feedback on my boss, who is not a good people person, but I don’t want to be too honest to his boss because s#!t flows downhill and this is not an anonymous survey. What do I say that isn’t full-bore support but doesn’t get me fired?
- Employee of Boss Baby
As readers know, I try not to be too advice-y in these (web) pages, but we're on a new platform, so I figured I'd dig right into this one and let it fly with my honest and wildly unqualified advice! New blog, new me!
My thoughts on your problem do hinge on what you mean by "not a good people person." Is your boss a bad tipper? Does he change lanes on the highway without signaling? Is he a close talker or any one of many irritating personality types that Seinfeld so deftly identified? When someone brings in donuts for the office, does he take like...a quarter of a donut with his bare hands and leave the other three mangled quarters sitting there for someone else to deal with? You know what I mean, right? There's a level at which someone can be obnoxious without it being worth risking your own job to highlight.
Or, does his rottenness put you and others in your workplace in jeopardy? Does he harass you and your colleagues, sexually or...platonically? Does he hoard credit or opportunity in a way that impedes the career progress of people who work under him? Do y0u suspect that his presence at this job is a pretense for running a meth ring underneath it, and he pursues that work not because he needs the money for his cancer treatment but because he likes the feeling of power that he gains through violent maintenance of his drug empire?
If it's the first set of things, you're in a pretty annoying place with a non-anonymous (nononymous?) survey. If you really do fear that your honest replies will make your own life harder, praise the positive where you can in writing. Don't write down anything you wouldn't want your boss to see, but also don't write anything that's not true. Try to get your concerns in writing to create a paper trail if you can. Instead of: "My boss is always literally standing behind me breathing hot coffee breath down my neck as I work, and it makes me want to shove his necktie in a paper shredder." Maybe something like: "I'd love to find ways to take on more independence and show more initiative on my projects." Or if there's something you and your boss have already talked about, maybe this is a place you can reaffirm it: "Glorm [name guessed by newsletter writer] and I have discussed implementing a more flexible schedule so I can pick up my kids from school, and I'm looking forward to figuring that out." That way, if you ever have to escalate these complaints, you're already on the record. But you're not saying anything that your boss would find out about and torment you over. Remember: HR often exists to cover the company's butt from legal risks, not to keep dickhead bosses in line! So be judicious!
If what you're dealing with is an imminent threat to your (or your colleagues') safety and careers, you probably should say something. Do you have coworkers you feel would be allies in this situation? Is there a way to get your boss's boss to talk to you outside of this survey which could be forwarded in an email with your name right at the top of it? If neither of those things are true in your current situation, and your boss is really a menace...this might not be a place to stay in the long term. But if you think you can avert real danger through individual or collective action without putting yourself in harm's way, that's a good thing to do. Also, creating a union with co-workers is always something you can explore in the long term (unless you already have one, in which case maybe your union rep can be a resource here).
No one should have to suffer abuse in the workplace. Unfortunately, there's a pretty wide swath of bad behavior that doesn't quite qualify as abuse, not to mention systems in place to protect powerful abusers. No one should have to deal with threats or inequity or unwanted back rubs, and you deserve to be safe from those things. You also shouldn't have to deal with a guy who's always saying "think fast!" and throwing a Nerf basketball at you, but maybe that's not worth risking your job over.
Readers! Is there anything I missed? Is there any wrongheaded thing I did say because I have a limited perspective and haven't consistently worked in an office for a few years? Let me and EoBB know in the comments!
PICK ME UP SONG OF THE WEEK
We are not living in the most hopeful era of American history, but sometimes a catchy song about the feeling of despair is enough to give you a little momentum on its own. We owe it to each other and ourselves to show up in the ways that we can whether that's cooking (or, hell, delivering) food for someone experiencing joy or loss, contributing money to help people who are low on resources, calling your representatives to help them make better decisions, or even making art that reminds us that being human is a good thing, and it's possible to do well.
I am loving this new Superchunk single and the other one that's out, and I'm excited to hear the whole album next month!
UPCOMING SHOWS
7/12: Bushwick Comedy Club
7/14: Regular Thing at Crystal Lake (Brooklyn)
7/17: Emmy’s East Village (NYC)
7/21: Hosting Frankenstein’s Baby at Union Hall (Brooklyn)
7/26: Borscht Belt Comedy Festival (Ellenville, NY)
7/27: Sup, Bro? at Union Hall—5pm show—(Brooklyn)
7/31: Radegast Hall and Biergarten (Brooklyn)
8/1-8/2: Comedy Bar (Toronto)
8/6: Caveat (NYC)
8/8: State Theater for Guster On the Ocean Festival (Portland, ME)